Monday, June 19, 2017

HAPPINESS IS AVAILABLE TO ALL!



HAPPY is as HAPPY DOES!


 As a writer of a POSITIVE LIFE BLOG... SPIRIT UNBROKEN,  I am often asked how others, my readers, can become "happier" in their own lives.  In the next few weeks, I will share  things that I have said "yes" to and that have helped me to become happier in my own life.
Just by picking a few of these ideas, you too will be on the track to being more content and  happier overall.  I do not have all the answers, but as I age and look back on my own wins vs. losses things become clearer and worth passing along.
 Being Imperfect
Trying to be perfect is setting the bar too high. It will be impossible to reach and ultimately lowers your self-esteem. You may not feel very happy about how things are going in your life even though they might be going very well indeed. "Perfectionism" for yourself eats at you and your happiness. Embrace your own imperfectness.
  • Believing in perfection      Often we actually believe what we see about relationships and families by watching "perfect families" and "how love should be" on television and in the movies. It looks so good and wonderful and you want it for yourself. Best selling authors capitalize on this formula over and over again.  However, in real life it clashes with reality and it can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are fiction. It is very useful to remind yourself:  No one has it all in spite of outer appearance!  I know this for a fact.
  • Go for good     Aiming for "perfection" usually winds up in a project or something else progressing very slowly or never being finished at all.  Perhaps, go for good instead. Warning: Don’t use good as an excuse to slack off.  Simply realize that there is something called "good" and even "very good" and that's not a bad thing .
 Being Yourself
Not being able to be yourself, always trying to change for others, or censoring yourself doesn't feel good at all. It makes life feel so small and limited.
  • Supportive people.  Spend more time with the people who support your dreams, values, and you as a person. Or at least people who are not antagonistic and negative. Try spending less time with people who normally criticize you.
  • Supportive and life-expanding experiences.   Change your environment from time to time.   Go further and spend more time with sources of information that support your dreams and can give you information that expands and makes your life happier. Accordingly, spend less time with negative and limiting influences.
Things you like
It is important to find some time and energy for the things that make you come alive.
  • Mix it up.      Try something new, even if it is just something small, each week. Eat a vegetarian dish at lunch if you always eat meat. Listen to some music that isn’t your norm. Go out to a movie, café, or pub with friends if you usually stay in at night. Perhaps it's the other way around.  If you are someone who surrounds themselves with others, try spending quality time... alone.  Create variation and expand your comfort zone regularly in small ways,  is key to living a happier life. Boredom creates contempt.
  • Reconnect.      If you used to go fishing, paint, or play the guitar and it really made you come alive... then discover it again. Use an hour for it this week and see if it still brings you joy and makes you come alive.
Be Optimistic
Pessimism can really limit your life and bring it to a standstill. It can make it feel like there’s no point in trying because it won’t make a difference or you’ll just fail. It can create ceilings and walls made out of glass where there really are none.
  • Ask questions.     When you’re in what seems like a negative situation, then make something better out of it by asking yourself questions that promote optimism and helps you to find solutions. For example: What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? Or what is the opportunity within this situation?
  • Start off positive.      Good influences in your life can make a huge difference. Therefore, start your day off with positive things.  A good breakfast, a form of exercise you enjoy, reading or praying if only for a short time.  You get the idea!
Foregiveness

Forgiving is not always easy and can take time, but there are some things that can make it a little easier.
  • You forgive for you.      As long as you don’t forgive someone you are forever linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what he or she did.... over and over again. The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts  much suffering in you and, as a result of your inner turmoil,  and  often in other people around you too. When you forgive, you release yourself.
  • Make a habit of forgiving yourself.      Do not just forgive others, but also yourself. By forgiving yourself – instead of resenting yourself for something you did a week or  years ago,  you make the habit of forgiveness more and more of a natural part of you. And so forgiving others becomes easier too.

     Don't just take the word "happy" for granted.  Live it, practice it, and you too shall become it.  HAPPY... in life, work, and relationships.

Friday, June 16, 2017

DOING "THE RIGHT THING" IS OFTEN DIFFICULT



Integrity vs Self


I define Integrity as “doing the right thing, regardless of the outcome.”  It is not always easy to do that. Often, we are worried about how others might view us or if they will “like” us. With our family, it is often will they “love” us. To make it a clearer choice for myself… I usually think about … if I will like myself if I do not do the right thing!  Then, my path or “choice” becomes clearer.  At the end of the day, the only thing each of us owns free and clear is ourselves; that is both mind and body.
Integrity is ours when we do the right thing for others… and ourselves.
Recently, it was mentioned by one of my own family members that my “choices” many times affect them negatively. That both surprised and saddened me at the same time. We have been going through a period of great change in our immediate lives and it sometimes requires that I focus on my own issues and healing … in additon to theirs.  I had erroneously reasoned that unless I was “healthy” in mind, body, and spirit …I would be of no use to them.  So, in order to do that, I had become “unhealthy” to them.  I didn’t see it that way, but they did. All I knew was I believed in my heart that I was doing “the right thing” for them as well as myself.
That’s when the light went on!  Each of us feels tested and challenged, some more so than others by mere personality.  We recover in the best and only way we know how, at the time.  Is it always the best for the other people in our lives?  Maybe not.  However, we do the best that we can with what hand we have been dealt.  While I was busy being proud of myself for my own personal accomplishments of not ‘falling apart’ at this new test in Life …they saw my actions/ words as inappropriate.  While I was trying my best to keep it “all together,” for them more than myself, they saw my actions as negative.
And then, last night as I was falling asleep…Eureka!  At that time, I really believed in my heart and soul that I was doing the best I could in that given situation and with Integrity.  But my personal definition of Integrity, and doing the “right thing” may not be someone else’s definition then or even now. Is there a right way and is there a wrong way of dealing with things in our lives that are difficult?  What I realized…in a moment of clarity…was that our personal “right way” of doing something maybe someone else’s “wrong way” of handling the same trial or test.
We must do the best we can, each time, and always do it with purity of heart.  But, brace yourself…sometimes, it may not be viewed as we would like.  Keep the destination in sight. I have to believe it is all seen from above by God.  I personally don’t believed that: “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions,” as the cliche goes.  Good intentions… are always good, even if they fail.  If you tried your hardest… then regardless of the outcome,  you did it with Integrity.  Peace to all.

Tuesday, May 9, 2017

A POSITIVE LIFE IS ALWAYS POSSIBLE

A POSITIVE LIFE is the Gift you give yourself!! 


 LIFE in itself is such a positive!  What an amazing "gift" that often is taken for granted.    Instead of thinking about what could go wrong in your life, a positive thinker thinks about what can go right.  Then... watch what happens.
*A positive thinker is going to look for the good in things. That's just who they are. That means they will always try to find something positive about every situation and what they are supposed to learn from it. However, everyone can learn to become a positive person.
*When you give off positive energy, you infect others with that positive energy and that they will return that energy to you. It is basically the belief that what you put out will come back to you. You are helpful, happy, and kind and they will be as well.
*A positive thinker is going to be able to stay upbeat in any situation; they do not dwell on the negative. They accept ithe challenge/ test as given and then move on. Done!
*Positive thinking can be used in every aspect of life, from the little things to major things. It can be used to help you get through trying times. You can also use it to just make your average day go a little better.
*Positive thinking involves being able to turn off the negative thoughts and replace them with good thoughts.  You will start to do everything in a more positive way, including how you treat others. This will not go unnoticed. Your interaction with others plays a large part in your life.
*Positive thinking will allow you to believe that you can accomplish something if you put your mind to it. You will be able to set goals and reach them because you will believe that you can do it. You can!
*Positive thinking is very influential. It is going to start to shape everyone and everything around you. You are going to see the great power it has almost immediately. The power of positive thinking is not subtle.
BUT... You have to make an effort to let positive thinking start turning all your thoughts and ideas into positive thoughts and ideas. No one can do it for you.  It is up to you to start pushing the negativity out of your head and let positive thoughts guide you.
When you start to find your thoughts, drifting to the negative... it is your responsibility, and only yours,  to make an effort to make them positive instead.
The power of positive thinking is that it will shape your life.  It is so contagious that it will affect the world around you. You will start to see positive thinking everywhere you go.
The true power of Positive thinking is that it allows you to live life to its fullest potential and for all that it has to offer without letting negativity bring you down.  There will always be tests and challenges.
A positive mind anticipates: happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every
situation and action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds. That's a win: win right there.
When the attitude is positive, we entertain pleasant feelings and constructive images and see in our mind's eye what we really want to happen.
Think positively, expect only favorable results and situations, and circumstances
will change accordingly.  It may take some time for the changes to take place, but
eventually they do.
When you expect success and say "I can," you fill yourself with confidence and joy.
Fill your mind with light, hope and feelings of strength, and soon your life will reflect
these qualities.
When you choose the best possible action, it makes it that much easier to choose the best positive meanings to the given situations stemming from the best possible actions that were chosen.  Great, right?
Don’t think of positive thoughts as  an avoidance technique or even worse, a gimmick; think of them as a symptom of good living.  LIVE ON!
bloggeraward_sky

NO ONE HAS IT ALL

THE EQUALITY OF OUR TOTAL LIFE

My personal belief is that, at the end of our time here on earth…things have been balanced in everyone’s lives.   Equal proportions of both challenges and gifts are given to each of us. Everyone; everywhere!  However, they come in different packages and at various times of our individual existences.  Again, this is not a religious belief, but rather a personal feeling.  No one has it all, (ever), despite outward appearances to the contrary.
For example, whereas someone’s early years might be riddled with challenges, such as an abused, handicapped, or orphaned child’s… that same individual’s life might be blessed in other areas, in the years that follow. Perhaps, as adults, they will be given the opportunity to have relationships that are beyond comparison. And… it is not necessary for the “relationships” to be within the immediate family or even with a significant other for that matter. Often, we believe that is where our greatest acceptance and love both should be and are received. There are so many instances where this is not the case. Being a good person, friend, or neighbor often earns a greater degree of love than one can imagine.
Maybe, because of other God given talents, one will live a long life with a productive career, which others can only envy. Again, an individual might be challenged mentally or even physically, but in return possess a richness of spirit of which others can only dream. There are many possibilities here, but you get the picture. No one has it all. Think further of friends and family members that you know well and yet, are suffering some personal trial, illness, or hardship despite outward appearances. Not enough emphasis can ever be placed on the concept that things are not always what they seem. This applies to everyone.
Our view of others, from the outside, rarely comes with the knowledge of their individual challenges within. Does anyone really have it all? It seems unlikely. Other good examples of this concept might be media celebrities or athletes, who despite fame and fortune have their own tests and personal pains. It matters little whether the burden is from their childhood, a current drug addiction, or a seemingly incurable disease. As of late, more and more of the “famous” have come forward to share with the public the adversity in their own lives. Their honesty about their own personal tests and challenges makes us feel less alone; we can identify. Once again, the blessings…and the burdens of life… are equalizing. You may have a lot of fame and fortune, but the tests and challenges are still there.
In all candidness, where someone might have viewed me during childhood and adolescence as… having it all, judging from outward appearances…my writings have indicated otherwise. However, to balance my lack of a healthy and normal childhood, some truly wonderful skills and attributes have been given to me. There are several that are of exceptional personal value. I try not to dwell on these gifts, aware that in the greater scheme of things…they can be taken away from me at any time. Over the years, the personal tests and mental/physical challenges continue. It is how it is supposed to be, I think. But now I try to look at all the given gifts and positives in greater proportion to the negatives.
Perhaps, this almost temporary state of given gifts… is meant to humble.  Life, just as it is given is a total package. Live it well.

Monday, April 17, 2017

MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY


     Making someone else happy, or at the minimum happier, has many benefits. The happiness spreads back to you as you see his or her face light up and you know you did the right thing.
     It spreads back to you as people have a strong tendency to want to give back when you have done something good for them.  ALSO,  it spreads out into the world, that's the best, as that now "happier" person spreads his or her happiness to other people.

How...

   Help out practically.     Perhaps, lend someone a hand when they are moving or need other help on the home front. Give them a ride to the doctor or dentist's office. Do errands for them if you are headed that direction anyway.  Even something as simple as needed information they might not be able to accomplish themselves. You can try to find a solution by asking the people you know or via the Internet.  Someone always has an answer/solution.
  Just listen.    Sometimes a friend, or someone close to you, may just want to vent or have someone to listen... as he or she figures things out. It may not seem like much, but it can be an immense help for someone who needs it. So, be there fully.
 Openness and growth.     Saying yes to being open to the good things in life and growing as a person plays a big role when it comes to happiness.
How to do it:

   Change one thing at a time    Changing many things or your whole life at once, sure sounds good. But willpower is something we often overestimate and everyday life tends to get in the way. So, to make sure you have a much better chance of changing a habit or area of your life... change just one thing at a time.

 Start small      Just say "no" to one small thing you don’t want to do this week. Or, forgive one person for one thing. Or, help and make someone happy in some small way.  Take one small step outside of your comfort zone.

Living your life fully despite setbacks     When things have been standing still for while or you hit a bump in the road then it’s easy to back down...to shrink... to give in or give up.  Don't!

But a better way to say yes to happiness in those situations is to say yes to living your life fully.

How to do it:

   Keep going  
         When you fail or make a mistake don’t give up. Reconnect with optimism by using the questions I wrote about in my previous blog entry:  Happy is as Happy Does.   Find inspiration from books and blogs and the people around you. Don’t beat yourself up. Instead nudge yourself back on track again.


Remember, it’s not too late to change your life. 

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

APRIL IS NATIONAL CHILD ABUSE MONTH!


Child Abuse: choose to see it; choose to be part of the solution! 

 For one month, please put aside all the anger at our Government, "Fake News," and "Walls," and worry about something we can fix with involvement and recognition.  We have a real crisis here in America.


Since research has shown that almost 1/3 of people having been sexually abused… never disclose this experience to anyone, the actual number of victims must be considerably higher than the given statistics.
Therefore, logically, it’s closer to 60 million survivors of Childhood Sexual Abuse in the United States and The District of Columbia, today.
1 in 4 girls are sexually abused before their fourteenth birthday!
1 in 6 boys are sexually abused before their sixteenth birthday!
The median age for reported abuse is nine years old.
90% of all victims know their perpetrators.
Nearly 70% of child sex offenders have more than one victim.
70% of child sex offenders victimize between 1 and 9 children. 
Almost one quarter of them victimized 10 to 40 victims.
More STATS on the EFFECTS of CHILD ABUSE on the Survivors
Girl survivors of sexual abuse are three times more likely to develop alcohol and drug abuse or psychiatric problems in adulthood, than girls who have not experienced sexual abuse.
Boy survivors of sexual abuse had a greater than an 80% chance of substance abuse, 50% had suicidal inclinations, and 23% actually attempted to take their own life. 70% received psychological treatment. 31% victimized others!
70-80% of sexual abuse survivors report excessive drug and alcohol abuse.
40% of all childhood sexual survivors suffer long-term effects that require therapy.
Although these statistics are real, they can be changed. The abuse stops with us. 
We need not pass the dysfunction forward to yet, another generation.
No one gives us self- esteem; we must choose it for ourselves. By succumbing to substance abuse of any kind or abusing others we perpetuate the cycle. We add to the statistics and our abuser(s) are the victors.  We can make that healthy and positive choice for ourselves.

Thursday, March 23, 2017

SPIRIT UNBROKEN IS A POSITIVE LIFE: HAPPY is as HAPPY DOES!

SPIRIT UNBROKEN IS A POSITIVE LIFE: HAPPY is as HAPPY DOES!:  As a writer of a POSITIVE LIFE BLOG... SPIRIT UNBROKEN,  I am often asked how others, my readers, can become "happier" in thei...

HAPPY is as HAPPY DOES!


 As a writer of a POSITIVE LIFE BLOG... SPIRIT UNBROKEN,  I am often asked how others, my readers, can become "happier" in their own lives.  In the next few weeks, I will share  things that I have said "yes" to and that have helped me to become happier in my own life.
Just by picking a few of these ideas, you too will be on the track to being more content and  happier overall.  I do not have all the answers, but as I age and look back on my own wins vs. losses things become clearer and worth passing along.
 Being Imperfect
Trying to be perfect is setting the bar too high. It will be impossible to reach and ultimately lowers your self-esteem. You may not feel very happy about how things are going in your life even though they might be going very well indeed. "Perfectionism" for yourself eats at you and your happiness. Embrace your own imperfectness.
  • Believing in perfection      Often we actually believe what we see about relationships and families by watching "perfect families" and "how love should be" on television and in the movies. It looks so good and wonderful and you want it for yourself. Best selling authors capitalize on this formula over and over again.  However, in real life it clashes with reality and it can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just because your expectations are fiction. It is very useful to remind yourself:  No one has it all in spite of outer appearance!  I know this for a fact.
  • Go for good     Aiming for "perfection" usually winds up in a project or something else progressing very slowly or never being finished at all.  Perhaps, go for good instead. Warning: Don’t use good as an excuse to slack off.  Simply realize that there is something called "good" and even "very good" and that's not a bad thing .
 Being Yourself
Not being able to be yourself, always trying to change for others, or censoring yourself doesn't feel good at all. It makes life feel so small and limited.
  • Supportive people.  Spend more time with the people who support your dreams, values, and you as a person. Or at least people who are not antagonistic and negative. Try spending less time with people who normally criticize you.
  • Supportive and life-expanding experiences.   Change your environment from time to time.   Go further and spend more time with sources of information that support your dreams and can give you information that expands and makes your life happier. Accordingly, spend less time with negative and limiting influences.
Things you like
It is important to find some time and energy for the things that make you come alive.
  • Mix it up.      Try something new, even if it is just something small, each week. Eat a vegetarian dish at lunch if you always eat meat. Listen to some music that isn’t your norm. Go out to a movie, café, or pub with friends if you usually stay in at night. Perhaps it's the other way around.  If you are someone who surrounds themselves with others, try spending quality time... alone.  Create variation and expand your comfort zone regularly in small ways,  is key to living a happier life. Boredom creates contempt.
  • Reconnect.      If you used to go fishing, paint, or play the guitar and it really made you come alive... then discover it again. Use an hour for it this week and see if it still brings you joy and makes you come alive.
Be Optimistic
Pessimism can really limit your life and bring it to a standstill. It can make it feel like there’s no point in trying because it won’t make a difference or you’ll just fail. It can create ceilings and walls made out of glass where there really are none.
  • Ask questions.     When you’re in what seems like a negative situation, then make something better out of it by asking yourself questions that promote optimism and helps you to find solutions. For example: What is one thing that is positive or good about this situation? Or what is the opportunity within this situation?
  • Start off positive.      Good influences in your life can make a huge difference. Therefore, start your day off with positive things.  A good breakfast, a form of exercise you enjoy, reading or praying if only for a short time.  You get the idea!
Foregiveness

Forgiving is not always easy and can take time, but there are some things that can make it a little easier.
  • You forgive for you.      As long as you don’t forgive someone you are forever linked to that person. Your thoughts will return to the person who wronged you and what he or she did.... over and over again. The emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts  much suffering in you and, as a result of your inner turmoil,  and  often in other people around you too. When you forgive, you release yourself.
  • Make a habit of forgiving yourself.      Do not just forgive others, but also yourself. By forgiving yourself – instead of resenting yourself for something you did a week or  years ago,  you make the habit of forgiveness more and more of a natural part of you. And so forgiving others becomes easier too.

     Don't just take the word "happy" for granted.  Live it, practice it, and you too shall become it.  HAPPY... in life, work, and relationships.